Rivendell Paradise
by infernomage
Summary: Elrond suffers and is delirious. He sings the parody of Amish Paradise
1. Default Chapter

Elrond: As I walk through the world where I watch over the elves.  
  
Aragorn: Uh... sir?  
  
I take a look at my life and realize It's very plain  
But that's just perfect for an Elf like me  
You know I conjure meetings everyday  
At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm chatting with the elves  
Boromir is obessed with the ring and Gandalf leads, fool.  
  
Gandalf: Err... Elrond?  
  
And I've been talking and running away  
That even Legolas thinks that my mind is gone.  
  
Legolas: I mean no disrespect...  
  
I'm an elf of Rivendell I'm into discipline  
Got nothing in my hand and a crown on my head  
But if I finish all of my preparations, and you finish thine  
Then tonight were gunna party like its 1699.  
  
Gandalf: When's the last time you partied?  
  
We been spendin most our lives  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
I laugh once or twice  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
Its hard work and sacrafice  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
We deal in great pride  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
  
A hobbit kicked me in the butt last week.  
  
Gandalf: Frodo, what did i tell you?  
Frodo: I didn't do nothing!  
  
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek  
I really don't care, infact I wish him well  
Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in Hell.  
  
Frodo: *Gulp*  
  
I even punched a dwarf even if he deserved it  
An elfwith a 'tude? You know thats unheard heard of  
I wear robes, and I got a cool crown  
And my homies agree I really look good in gold, fool.  
  
Boromir: Homies?  
  
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears  
We haven't even paid attention to Saruman in 300 years.  
  
Gasndalf: I don't get it.  
  
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare  
We're just technologically impared  
  
Theres no phones, no radio, no motor cars  
Not a single bounderies  
Like medevial times, it's as primitive as can be.  
  
Frodo: What are you talking about?  
  
We been spendin' most our lives   
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
Were just plain and simple elves  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
There's no time for wishin'  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
We don't bore we all have fun.  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
  
chatting with Gandalf, going to the meetings  
play games on monday, and one thing and anotha  
Think your really rightous, think your pure at heart  
Well I know, I'm a million times as humble as Legolas  
I'm the wise elf, the little children wanna be like  
On my kness day and night, scorin' points for the after life  
So don't be vain, and don't be whinney  
Or else my brother, I might have to get midevil on your hinney.  
  
Lefolas: What is going on?  
Frodo: Can i run away?  
  
We been spendin most our lives  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
We're all crazy wizards  
Livin' in a Magi paradise  
Theres no cops or traffic lights  
Livin' in a Rivendell paradise  
you'd probably think it's cool  
Livin' in an Rivendell paradise  
  
Elrond: *Back to normal* What happened?  
Gandalf: You finally cracked. 


	2. Hobbit Paradise

Frodo Baggins: As I walk through the world where I love the shire  
I take a look at my life and realize It'd very plain  
But that's just perfect for an hobbit like me  
You know I read my book everyday  
At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm eating breakfast  
Sam gardens my bag end and Gandalf visits, fool  
And I've been eating and talking  
That even Bilbo thinks that my mind is gone  
I'm a man of the shire I'm into discipline  
Got a ring in my hand and a hair on my feet  
But if I finish all of my food, and you finish thine  
Then tonight were gunna party like its 1299  
  
We been spendin most our lives  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
I eat all the time  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
Its hard work and sacrafice  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
We don't have adventures  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
  
A hobbit boy kicked me in the butt last week  
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek  
I really don't care, infact I wish him well  
Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in Hell  
I even punched a Took even if he deserved it  
A Hobbit with a 'tude? You know unheard thats heard of  
I wear loins, and I got a cool ring  
And my homies agree I really look good in brown, fool  
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears  
We haven't even paid attention to Elrond in 300 years  
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare  
We're just technologically impared  
  
Theres no phones, no radio, no motor cars  
Not a single bounderies  
Like medevial times, it's as primitive as can be  
  
We been spendin' most our lives   
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
Were just plain and simple hobbits   
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
There's no time for wishin'  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
We don't have adventures  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
  
gardening the fields, eating elevenses  
visit Gandalf on monday, and one thing and anotha  
Think your really rightous, think your pure at heart  
Well I know, I'm a million times as humble as Bilbo  
I'm the hobbit guy, the little children wanna be like  
On my kness day and night, scorin' points for the after life  
So don't be vain, and don't be whinney  
Or else my brother, I might have to get midevil on your hinney  
  
We been spendin most our lives  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
We're all crazy hobbits  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
Theres no cops or traffic lights  
Livin' in a Hobbit paradise  
you'd probably think it's cool  
Livin' in an Hobbit paradise  
  
Gandalf: Where did that come from?  
Frodo: The author just thought of this up. He's a loco.   
Gandalf: First Elrond and now you. Who's next?  
Me: *Dark grin*  
Gandalf: I shouldn't have asked.  
Me: Sauron!  
Sauron: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Author's notes. I'm Writing up a very good fic and no it isn't humor right now. but i'm doing, "Ron's mysterious Twin" and i'm going on for a third chapter.  
  
Ok, i want honesty. No rude comments or bad names. If none of my fics were funny, just be very polite enough to say, "It's not my taste. Though i believe some people might find it humorous themselves. But i have different taste. Anyhow, that was a good try."  
  
That is when if you think my fic isn't good. But it's more understandable and highly respectable. do that, and i will be very respectful to your fics. 


End file.
